btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
