He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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