This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
