Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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