Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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