i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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