i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
