My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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