Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
