white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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