ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
