things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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