I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
