oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
