my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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