My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
