worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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