Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
