we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
