we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
