I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
