honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
