Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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