I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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