Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize