i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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