did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also, beer. Big fan.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
