I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
