Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
