I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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