I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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