Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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