Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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