Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
