Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
