so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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