He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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