the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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