Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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