So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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