I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
