ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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