dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
