I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
