i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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