So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
