I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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