I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
