i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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