Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
