i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
