She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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