Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
