my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
