Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
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Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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