I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
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