Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
