Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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