dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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