I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
