Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
