i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
