Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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