So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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