He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
