She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
